


As It Takes Hold

by Samunderthelights



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Canon Related, Canon-Typical Violence, Don't copy to another site, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Kissing, M/M, Male Slash, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, Vikings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:21:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23767630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samunderthelights/pseuds/Samunderthelights
Summary: “You want her to touch you, yes?”“Of course.”“Then keep your eyes shut."
Relationships: Bjorn/Halfdan the Black
Comments: 2
Kudos: 90





	1. Chapter 1

Halfdan is in bed, trying to sleep, but he can’t stop thinking about Kassia, about when she had been singing earlier tonight. Her song has gotten to him, and it seems to have gotten to Bjorn as well, because Halfdan can hear him tossing and turning in his bed.

“Her song was beautiful, was it not?”

“Huh?”

“The song she sang,” Halfdan tries, as he turns in his bed, to face Bjorn. But Bjorn has a confused, and frustrated look on his face, and Halfdan realises that perhaps he hadn’t been thinking about Kassia at all.

“Sure.”

“Are you worried about tomorrow?”

“A little.”

“But?” Halfdan asks, but his friend just shrugs his shoulders. Halfdan knows when to stop asking, so he turns on his back, and he closes his eyes, hoping to finally fall asleep. Hoping to get rid of Kassia’s voice in his head.

“I was thinking of Torvi,” Bjorn admits, but Halfdan keeps quiet, not sure what to say, what to ask. “I miss her.”

“Of course. She’s your wife,” Halfdan says, but when a silence follows, he fears he may have said the wrong thing again.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her,” Bjorn continues. “Since I’ve gotten to… touch her,” he explains, and Halfdan finally understands his friend’s frustration. He can’t help but smile, yet he keeps quiet. “I long for her, Halfdan.”

Halfdan looks over to his friend, and he realises that he has started touching himself underneath the covers. The fabric is so thin, that Halfdan can see the outline of his hand, of his hard prick.

He quickly looks away, but something makes him look back, makes him keep watching. Makes him look at Bjorn’s face, at the way his lips are ever so slightly parted, his eyes closed. Halfdan knows he is probably imagining it’s Torvi’s hand around his prick, imagining he is back at home, fucking her.

“Bjorn?” he whispers, and his friend opens his eyes. “You want her to touch you, yes?”

“Of course.”

“Then keep your eyes shut,” Halfdan whispers, but he is only met by a confused look. “Shut them.”

“Why?”

“Shut them,” Halfdan repeats, and finally Bjorn does as he is told.

He hears Halfdan getting out of bed, ever so quietly, before making his way over to his bed. And when Bjorn can feel the cold of the covers being taken off of him, he wants to open his eyes, but he knows not to. So he keeps them closed, even when he feels his friend’s hand sliding into his trousers. Even when he feels him grabbing hold of his prick.

But when he feels the warmth, the wetness of a mouth, he opens his eyes, half expecting to find a girl. To find Torvi.

But he watches, as Halfdan takes the full length of his prick into his mouth again, not even noticing that he is being watched. He is confident, focused, he knows what he is doing. Bjorn knows that seeing Halfdan should turn him off, it should make him want to punch him for touching him. But he can’t stop watching, for the first time seeing something in his friend which he has never seen before.

Bjorn is trying to keep quiet, but Halfdan can hear his breathing become more ragged, and he knows that he isn’t going to last long. If the situation had been different, he would have taken it slow, he would have known how to tease him, how to play with him. But he is just trying to help Bjorn get off, to help his fantasy. To make him feel like Torvi is with him, even if for only a moment.

Bjorn comes, quickly closing his eyes, not wanting Halfdan to know that he was being watched. But hearing his friend swallow hard, knowing that he is swallowing down his cum, before making his way over to his own bed again, it does something to Bjorn, there is no way he can deny that.

“You have done that before, have you not?” he asks, trying to break the uncomfortable silence, finally opening his eyes, and turning to face Halfdan, whose face is flushed. But he just catches him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and it makes him want to turn around, close his eyes, go to sleep. Not face him again. Ever. “I’m sorry, I…”

“Once or twice,” Halfdan admits, a shy smile on his face, ignoring his friend’s apology. “When the men in the army would be missing their wives, and there were no women around who were willing to… and there were no whores around…”

“You would do this for them?” Bjorn asks, a hurt in the pit of his stomach which he can’t quite place.

“This… other things.”

“Other things?”

“When they needed to fuck…” Halfdan shrugs. “I would let them.”

“Fuck you?”

“Yes.”

Halfdan can see Bjorn trying to take in this new information, and he wonders if he should have kept this to himself. But then perhaps his friend would have gotten the wrong idea, and wouldn’t that have been worse? But when Bjorn finally looks up at him again, he sees a disappointed, hurt look in his eyes.

“I am not like those men, Halfdan.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I want a whore, I will get myself one,” Bjorn spits out, the words cutting Halfdan like a knife. “What just happened…”

“I am sorry, I was only trying to help.”

“I know that, but don’t you ever, ever, lower yourself like that again!”

-~-~-~-

After a night with the Emir’s girls, Bjorn wakes up to Halfdan already having breakfast. After what had happened between them in Sicily, there had been an awkwardness, but after they had both been with a girl last night, Bjorn had hoped that the awkwardness would have lifted. But he can tell that something is still troubling his friend.

“How was your night?” Halfdan asks, trying to force a smile upon his face.

“Very satisfactory. And yours?”

“She was… not a she,” Halfdan admits, as Bjorn sits down with him. Bjorn looks at him for a moment, and Halfdan can tell that he is thinking about what he had told him, about what he had done for the men in the army.

“What?”

“You heard.”

“And uh… was that a problem for you?” Bjorn asks, unable to deny that he had been wondering whether Halfdan had find some kind of pleasure in what he had done for, and with those men. Or if he had simply been doing them a favour.

But he can see the uncomfortable look on his friend’s face, and he can tell that he is getting embarrassed.

“I’m starving!”

“Halfdan,” Bjorn warns him, and Halfdan sits back down with him. “Did you enjoy doing what you did?”

“What I…?”

“Did you enjoy… pleasuring men? Having them fuck you,” Bjorn asks, Halfdan’s face turning a dark shade of red.

“Please don’t ask me that.”

“There is no shame in it.”

“Isn’t there?”

“No,” Bjorn reassures him, trying to reach out to him, but Halfdan avoids his touch, and his eyes. “If you find pleasure, or comfort in… the company of men, then…,” Bjorn tries, but he isn’t sure what he should, or could say to reassure Halfdan that there is nothing wrong with him. Because he can tell how deep the shame goes, that this is something that won’t just go away with a word or two.

“I was nothing more than a whore to those men, Bjorn,” Halfdan spits out. “A quick…”

“Don’t!”

“Why not?” Halfdan asks. “Huh?”

“Because…”

“Because then it would mean that you have enjoyed the pleasure of a male whore, would it not?” Halfdan asks, keeping his voice down, but the words cut through Bjorn like a knife, and he gets up, and towers over him. “You are just like…”

Before Halfdan can even finish his sentence, Bjorn has punched him in the face, making him fall over onto the ground. He was still sitting, so it isn’t the greatest fall, but just the shock of being punched in the face, by his best friend, it brings tears to Halfdan’s eyes.

“You are not a whore. Do you hear me?” Bjorn spits out, but when he sees the tears forming in his friend’s eyes, he kneels down beside him, wanting to reach out to touch his bleeding lip, but Halfdan flinches, and he pulls away.

“I am sorry,” Halfdan whispers, bringing his fingers up to his lip.

“Don’t you dare say such a thing again!”

Bjorn tries to reach out to him, and this time Halfdan lets him. Bjorn wraps his arms around him, holding him tight, until he has stopped shaking. He then lets go of him, and sits back down where he had sat before.

“What happened that night…,” Bjorn whispers, and Halfdan looks up at him, nothing but fear in his eyes, his lip still bleeding. “I care for you, Halfdan.”

“I am sorry.”

“I am not. I just wish you would stop thinking of it as…”

“What would you want me to see it as?” Halfdan asks, and for a moment Bjorn hesitates, scared he has insulted him, hurt him. But then he notices a glint in his eye, almost like he is daring him. “What would you prefer to have me call it?”

“I am not sure,” Bjorn admits. “Perhaps… a friendly…”

“Perhaps you will figure the answer out some other time, yes?”

-~-~-~-

“Are you ready to go home?” Bjorn asks, when he joins Halfdan.

Halfdan is sitting on the shore, watching the full moon, dreading tomorrow. Travelling with Bjorn, it had nearly cost him his life, and yet, he had never felt more alive. Knowing that they will have to go back home, that they will have to face their old lives again, it fills him up with nothing but dread.

“I want to come back here, see even more of the world,” he admits, a small smile forming on his friend’s lips. “You will take me with you, won’t you?”

“Of course.”

“You must be aching to get home though,” Halfdan says. “To see your wife again, to…”

“I fear I have come to realise that I am not in love with her anymore,” Bjorn admits. “I am longing for her, yes, but…”

“You are longing for a fuck.”

“Yes,” Bjorn says, staring out at the shore. “But I can’t stay with her for only that, can I?”

“No. Will you tell her?”

“I fear I will have to.”

“And then you will find yourself another wife?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn looks up at him. “What?”

“Will you?”

“You know I can’t,” Halfdan whispers, turning his head to make sure no one is there to overhear them. “Perhaps I can, but…”

“You would not care for her?”

“No.”

“Perhaps you could find someone you care for, live together…”

“You know that’s not how it works,” Halfdan snaps, a hurt look on his face. “When you are my age, you either settle down with a woman, or you spend your life in the company of whores. But you do not…”

“I know of plenty of men who go with men,” Bjorn objects, but when he sees his friend looking away, he realises it is not the same. “But they do have wives…”

“This is enough for me, Bjorn. Getting to see the world,” Halfdan says, and Bjorn can see his eyes lighting up. “With you.”

Bjorn looks back out at the shore, but after a long silence, he carefully places his hand on his friend’s leg. He half expects him to jump up, to run away, even to punch him in the face. But instead, Halfdan presses up against his touch. So he slides his hand up to his crotch, and starts stroking Halfdan’s prick through the fabric of his trousers, but once he has gotten him hard, he takes his hand away.

“What are you…?” Halfdan whispers, his voice getting stuck in his throat. Bjorn realises how nervous he is, so he flashes a small, reassuring smile, but when it does nothing, when it brings no comfort, no reassurance, he presses his lips against Halfdan’s mouth. Halfdan slides his tongue into Bjorn’s mouth, and he is met with a hunger he has never tasted before. The men, he had never let them kiss him. The handful of men he had chosen to be with, whom he had cared for, who had left him for the women they had ended up marrying, they had kissed him, but there hadn’t been this kind of hunger. This kind of passion. The kisses had been quick, as though the men had been embarrassed, ashamed to kiss him. Even the sex had been quick, before the men had quickly left again.

Bjorn’s kiss makes Halfdan feel like his skin is on fire, but he isn’t willing to let go. And it isn’t until they hear a sound, that they both jump up and move away from each other.

“What was that?”

They turn and look, only to find two birds, fighting. Bjorn can’t help but laugh, but it’s a nervous laughter, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

“I thought…”

“Me too,” Halfdan admits. “We should probably try and get some sleep, huh?”

“I don’t want to go to sleep, Halfdan,” Bjorn whispers, and for the first time, Halfdan can hear his voice shaking with nerves. “I want to stay with you tonight.”

“Have you figured out the answer yet, to what you want that night to be? What you want this to be?”

“No,” Bjorn admits, and he flashes a nervous smile. “But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. About you. I want you, Halfdan.”

“Don’t.”

“Not to do a favour, or to take my wife’s place when I want her, but…,” Bjorn admits, his heart beating so fast, that he is starting to feel dizzy. “That night, I wanted it to be you, not her. I wanted it to be your mouth. I wanted you to touch me.”

“You were only missing…”

Halfdan doesn’t even get a chance to finish his sentence, because Bjorn kisses him again, this time sliding his hand underneath his tunic, the cold touch of his fingers giving Halfdan chills all over.

“I want you,” Bjorn whispers, as he brings his mouth up to Halfdan’s ear. “I’ll let you have me if that’s what you want, I…”

“You would let me fuck you?” Halfdan asks, looking into his friend’s eyes to see if he is being mocked or not. “Why?”

But when Halfdan sees the genuine caring look in Bjorn’s eyes, he already knows the answer. Bjorn wants him not to be reminded of what he used to do, he doesn’t want him to feel like he is here to be taken advantage of, like he is here just to pleasure someone else. He wants him to be equal, he wants him to have pleasure, without shame. He wants him to know that this is different.

“I care for you,” Bjorn whispers, resting his forehead against Halfdan’s. “If you tell me to go now, I will.”

“No,” Halfdan quickly says. He gives Bjorn a quick kiss, before sitting up, and sliding down his trousers, exposing his hard prick. Bjorn can’t deny that seeing it sends a lightning bolt through his body, and he doesn’t even bother hiding the fact that he is staring.

“Are you sure about this?” Halfdan asks, taking Bjorn’s staring as shock, as regret. But Bjorn nods, a determined look on his face. Within seconds, his trousers have come down, and they are both staring at each other, fully aware of what is about to happen, what is about to change between them.

“This is going to hurt,” Halfdan says, giving Bjorn yet another chance to back out, to change his mind, but Bjorn just nods. “So it’s best if you…”

“I know, give me a moment,” Bjorn snaps, and Halfdan can’t help but smile at his nerves. Bjorn takes a deep breath, before getting down on all fours in the grass, staring up at the full moon, trying to prepare himself for what is about to happen. But when Halfdan slowly, and carefully starts pushing into him, he realises that there was no way he could have prepared himself for this.

Halfdan hears Bjorn letting out an almost animalistic growl, but he has been where he is now, and he knows what he is going through. So he slides up Bjorn’s shirt, and leans down, pressing a, hopefully, comforting kiss on his back.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Don’t you dare,” Bjorn growls, and Halfdan kisses his back again, before pushing further into him. He can see the beads of sweat already forming on his back, every muscle tensing, and for a moment, he wonders if he should be the one to stop this. But instead, he pulls out, before pushing back into him again, another animalistic growl coming from somewhere in the back of Bjorn’s throat.

Bjorn can’t deny that he is struggling to keep the tears away, that this is a pain he has never felt before, and yet, there is something about the feeling of Haldan’s prick inside of him, of knowing that his best friend is fucking him, that he is inside of him right now, that those are his hands grabbing onto his hips right now, it is making him feel a high which no battle could ever make him feel. No win has ever made him feel this, no fuck, no woman. This, this is different. This is what had been missing, all the times he had been with someone, all the times he had been left feeling empty afterwards. All the times he had been left looking for more.

Halfdan pushes into him again, with such force, that Bjorn struggles not to fall down. Just feeling his force, his strength, it only turns him on more, and he can’t help but look over his shoulder, just to see his face. And when he sees the sweat glistening on his face, his tunic sticking to his chest, it sends a shiver through his body.

“Fuck, Halfdan…”

“I know,” Halfdan manages to bring out, and he pulls out. He spills all on Bjorn’s bare back, and just feeling what has happened, it is enough to make Bjorn come. He brings his hand up to his back, and for a moment, Halfdan fears he is upset, but instead, Bjorn stares down at Halfdan’s cum on his hand, a mischievous glint in his eye.

“Come here,” Bjorn orders, and Halfdan does as he is told. “Kiss me.”

Halfdan kisses him, but it’s a hesitant, nervous kiss, so Bjorn slides his tongue into his mouth, wanting to taste the hunger, the fire, the sex. Halfdan is a little taken aback at the kiss, and he nearly falls over, but it doesn’t matter, because Bjorn pushes him down, and he presses their bodies together, before bringing his mouth up to his ear.

“You will be here with me, won’t you? When I come back here.”

“Of course.”

“Swear it to me.”

“I swear.”


	2. Chapter 2

“What are you doing out here on your own?” Halfdan asks, when he finally finds Bjorn. All night he had been asked about their travels, about the things they had seen, the people they had met. He hadn’t minded repeating his stories over and over, but every time he had wanted to go see how Bjorn was doing, someone had dragged him off, and it had taken him hours to finally get away.

“I have spoken to Torvi,” Bjorn says, not taking his eyes off the sky. “We have agreed to end our marriage.”

“How is she?”

“Trying to hide her pain.”

“And you?”

“I am relieved,” Bjorn admits, a guilty look on his face. “What does that make of me?”

“A good man.”

“Does it?”

“You have told her the truth, and you are giving her a chance to…”

“I haven’t told her a thing,” Bjorn spits out, finally looking down at Halfdan. “I did not tell her about you.”

“There is nothing to tell, Bjorn.”

A long silence follows, until the door opens, and Lagertha comes out. She is looking heated, her face flushed, and she seems to be enjoying the cold night air, but when she notices her son and Halfdan, she comes over to them.

“Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine,” Bjorn says, but his mother raises an eyebrow.

“Are you upset over what happened with Torvi?” Lagertha asks. “She will find love again, as I’m sure you will. There are other women out there.”

“I know,” Bjorn quickly says, doing his best to avoid Halfdan’s eyes. Lagertha notices the tension in the air though, and she sighs.

“What happened while you were away?”

“Nothing,” Halfdan quickly says, but his answer comes too quickly, and even he himself can hear that it is an obvious lie.

“Have you met someone else?”

“I have,” Bjorn admits, and his mother nods, taking in this new information.

“And where is she now? Is she still out there? Did you bring her here?”

“Don’t do this,” Halfdan warns him, but he can see the determined look on Bjorn’s face, and he knows that nothing he will say will stop him.

“I haven’t met a woman.”

“But I thought you just said…”

“Halfdan and I, we…,” Bjorn begins, but before he can say another word, his mother’s face turns ashen, and she looks away from them, bringing her hands up to her mouth.

“You are too old for this, Bjorn,” she finally says, as she turns back to them. “When you were a boy, perhaps you could… now this… this cannot happen. Do you hear me?”

“Why not?” Bjorn spits out. Halfdan is taken aback by the anger in his voice, by the hurt, but he keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to say the wrong thing and make this worse for either of them.

“Because you are to be married, you…”

“Why?” Bjorn asks, not even giving Lagertha a chance to continue. “What about Astrid, huh?”

“Don’t you dare!”

“What about father and Athelstan?”

“Your father was married!” Lagertha snaps, not even aware of how loud her voice has gotten. “If you want to find a girl and marry her,” she continues, before turning to Halfdan. “You too… you can have _this_ too, but…”

“And lie to my wife? Hurt her?” Bjorn asks. “Because I will not care for her.”

“And you care for him?”

“I do,” Bjorn admits, the words sending a bolt of lighting through Halfdan’s body. But Lagertha just shakes her head, a frustrated look on her face. “I will not marry again.”

“I fear you will live to regret this decision.”

“Yet it is my decision to make, is it not?”

“It is Bjorn, but…,” Lagertha begins, but for just a moment, when she sees the determined look on her son’s face, she sees Ragnar. She still remembers how protective he had been over Athelstan, how he had saved his life, over and over again. How he had chosen to put his trust in him, even when no one else would. How much he had cared for him.

She recognises the look in her son’s eyes, and it makes her realise that no matter what she says, it will not change a thing about his feelings for Halfdan. So she places a hand on Bjorn’s arm, and she squeezes it tight.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know.”

Lagertha looks at Halfdan, but he can’t tell if she is angry with him, worried, or hurt even. He can’t read her, so he simply tries to look grateful, before she turns and leaves again.

“I am sorry, I didn’t mean to tell her, I just…”

“What happens now?” Halfdan asks, a little nervous someone must have overheard Lagertha and Bjorn’s argument. “What does this mean for us?”

“I should have asked you before I told my mother.”

“Perhaps, yes,” Halfdan says, a shy smile on his face. “I’m not sure what…”

“You know how much I care for you,” Bjorn says, but Halfdan just nods, before looking away from him, avoiding his eyes. “What is it that you want, Halfdan?”

“You heard what your mother said, we cannot…”

“Why not?”

“You know why not, Bjorn,” Halfdan whispers, making sure no one will hear them. “You are Bjorn Ironside, son of…”

“Don’t you dare use that against me,” Bjorn spits out, but Halfdan can hear that he isn’t angry. Instead, he is hurt, and there is fear in his voice.

Halfdan wants to tell Bjorn the words he wants to hear, but he can’t. So he just shrugs his shoulders, before walking away, and going back inside, leaving Bjorn standing there, feeling like his insides have just been ripped out.

\--

Halfdan is in bed, and he is just drifting off to sleep, when the door to his room opens. He sits up in bed, and reaches out for something, anything to defend himself with. But when he recognises the shape of Bjorn, even in the darkness, he breathes a sigh of relief.

“What are you doing here?”

Bjorn ignores the question, and Halfdan watches him as he gets out of his clothes, a determined look on his face. Halfdan has been here before, with men getting ready for a fuck, when he didn’t want it. Where he would have to fight them off, where he would have to threaten to cut off their pricks if they wouldn’t stop. For a moment the memories of those men go through his mind, but he knows that Bjorn is different. Bjorn wouldn’t hurt him.

Bjorn gets into bed with Halfdan, and just feeling the warmth of his body, as he presses up against his back, makes Halfdan want to turn and kiss him. But instead, he keeps quiet, and he doesn’t move.

“What do you want, Halfdan?” Bjorn whispers into Halfdan’s ear, his warm breath on his skin giving him chills all over.

“You know what I want.”

“Then tell me. I have told you what I want, what I feel for you, but you haven’t told me a thing. I didn’t even realise, not until tonight. I just assumed, but…”

“I chose to go with you, didn’t I?” Halfdan quickly says, and Bjorn can’t help but smile. “That wasn’t just because I had something to prove.”

“No?”

“You know it wasn’t,” Halfdan admits, and he can feel Bjorn’s arm wrapping around his waist, holding him tight. “I have always thought of you as more than… sorry…”

“I feel stupid for not seeing it sooner,” Bjorn admits. “I wish you had told me.”

“Would it have made a difference?”

“Perhaps. Think of all that time we spent out there, away from…”

“Your wife?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn can hear the teasing in his voice. He grabs hold of his waist even tighter, and kisses his neck, before bringing his mouth up to his ear again.

“Perhaps we can make up for the time we wasted, yes?”

“What are you suggesting?” Halfdan asks, but before he has even finished his sentence, Bjorn’s hand has slid down to the edge of his trousers. “What if someone comes in?”

“So what? Let them,” Bjorn shrugs, before sliding his hand into Halfdan’s trousers, and grabbing hold of his prick. He can feel Halfdan tensing up, so he starts kissing his shoulder, up to his neck, until he ends up at his ear.

“Take them off,” he whispers, and Halfdan does as he is told, but when he is about to turn to face Bjorn, he hesitates. “What is it?”

“Will you fuck me tonight?”

“Are you sure?” Bjorn asks, and Halfdan can’t help but smile, knowing he has made the right decision, when he sees the genuine worry on his face. This isn’t a quick fuck, a quick in and out, where he will end up feeling dirty, filled with nothing but shame and regret. Bjorn cares. For the first time, doing this with someone will actually mean something.

Halfdan kisses Bjorn, and for a moment, he feels like this is enough. Just being here with him, sharing a kiss, spending the night together, it is enough. But when Bjorn presses his body up against him, and Halfdan can feel his hard prick pressing up against his leg, it feels like a bolt of lightning goes through his body.

“Fuck me,” he whispers, and Bjorn nods, before giving him another kiss.

Bjorn watches as Halfdan turns away from him, as he positions himself, preparing for what is about to happen. It sends a shiver through Bjorn’s body, but when he realises that this is far from the first time that Halfdan has been in this position, that he has done this for men who used him like a piece of meat, he feels a hurt which cuts him like a knife. He feels like he should be protecting him, keeping him safe. Not do the same thing to him that those men had done to him.

“Is this truly what you want?” he whispers, and Halfdan looks over his shoulder, a confused look on his face. “Don’t do this for me. I will let you take me again.”

“I will take you again next time,” Halfdan says, and even in the dark Bjorn can see the mischievous glint in his eye. “Perhaps even later tonight, if you wish.”

“You…”

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Bjorn smiles, and Halfdan turns his head again. Bjorn places himself behind his best friend, his lover, and he places a kiss on his neck, before carefully and gently pushing himself into him. He still remembers the pain he had felt when he had been in Halfdan’s place, so he gives him a moment before continuing.

“Is this…?”

“Shut up, Bjorn,” Halfdan laughs, and Bjorn can’t help but smile, before kissing his neck, and grabbing onto Halfdan’s hip, to get a better grip.

He had been with dozens of women, and it had been fine, it had been exactly what he thought it would be like. But it had never left him feeling satisfied. He had always been left longing for more, a part of him had been left feeling like it needed something else. So he had had more women, and sometimes he had even come to care for them. But none of them could satisfy them. Not truly.

But it had been that night, where Halfdan had taken him, underneath the full moon, where he had been left feeling satisfied for the first time in his life. It had left him feeling like he had finally figured out what had been missing all along. But being here, taking Halfdan, being inside of him, their bodies pressed so closely together that he can feel his heartbeat, it brings him so much more than satisfaction. It makes him feel like they are becoming one, like this moment is binding them together. Like they are making a promise to each other, in front of the Gods.

Halfdan brings his hand towards Bjorn’s hand, which is still gripping tightly onto his hip, and he brings it down to his prick. Bjorn’s touch is rough, but Halfdan doesn’t mind. Not at all.

“Harder,” he whispers, not even sure if Bjorn has heard him.

“What?”

“Harder,” he repeats, “I can take it,“ he adds, and Bjorn can’t help but laugh, before pushing into him with more force this time. Before, he had been nervous to hurt him, but when he hears the groan coming from Halfdan, and he watches him gripping onto the bed, he knows that he is doing something right. So he fucks him, harder again this time, while tightening his grip on his prick.

“Better?” he whispers, and Halfdan can hear just how much he is enjoying this.

“A little,” he laughs, making Bjorn push into him with even more force. “Now we are getting somewhere.”

“You are mad,” Bjorn whispers, but seeing this side of Halfdan only turns him on more, makes him want to see what else is hiding inside of him. So he pushes harder and harder, feeling like he is being struck by lightning, every time Halfdan groans out.

But then Halfdan stops him, and he reaches out to grab his hand.

“Wait.”

“Me too,” Bjorn whispers, and he lets go of Halfdan’s prick, and grabs hold of his hip again. He kisses Halfdan’s neck, and with one final push, he spills inside of him. It makes him feel like they are now truly bound together, and when Halfdan turns to face him, he almost tells him. He almost tells him just how much this fuck has meant to him, but he keeps the words to himself, and when he sees Halfdan’s hard prick, he reaches out and grabs it.

Halfdan can see that something has changed in Bjorn’s eyes, even now, as he is getting him off, his mind is elsewhere. He is thinking about something. It makes Halfdan wonder if he is regretting it. If he wishes he was still with Torvi.

But when he comes, and he starts shivering, simply from the release, the exhaustion, Bjorn wraps his arms around him, and he kisses the top of his head.

“Is it alright if I stay with you tonight?”

“Do you want to?” Halfdan asks, ashamed at the shock in his voice. No man has ever spent the night with him, and after everything Bjorn has told him, he shouldn’t be surprised, but he can’t help it. He is still waiting for him to change his mind, to go back to Torvi, or for him to meet a woman and to marry her instead.

“I am not like those men, Halfdan,” Bjorn whispers, before letting out a sigh, wondering if Halfdan will ever truly get over his past. “I want to be here, with you.”

-~-~-~-

Bjorn and Halfdan have woken up a while ago, but they are still in bed, not wanting to leave the safety of this moment just yet. But just as Bjorn rolls on top of Halfdan, the door swings open, and Ubbe storms in.

“Halfdan, have you seen… oh…”

“Have I seen Bjorn?” Halfdan asks, trying to keep a straight face, as Bjorn climbs off him, and grabs the furs to cover them up. “Yes.”

“I can see that,” Ubbe laughs. “So ehm… I shall give you a minute to finish up here?”

“Make it ten.” Bjorn grins, and his brother shakes his head, laughing, before leaving, and closing the door behind him. “Do you want to get dressed, or…”

“Or what?” Halfdan laughs. “Your brother…”

“Won’t come back,” Bjorn shrugs, as he throws the furs off them. Seeing Halfdan lying there, so naked, so exposed, it brings a small smile to Bjorn’s face.

“What?”

“You are beautiful.”

“Shut up,” Halfdan laughs. “Now I know you are mocking me.”

“I am not,” Bjorn says, as he brings his fingers down to a large scar on Halfdan’s chest. He traces it, before carefully touching a scar on his arm, realising any of these wounds could have killed him. Realising he could have lost him before he had truly found him.

“We should get dressed, go and see…”

“Yes,” Bjorn quickly agrees, but Halfdan can tell that something is on his mind. He is too nervous to ask though. Not sure if he wants to hear the answer.


	3. Chapter 3

It is later that day, and Bjorn and Halfdan have joined a group of men who are all standing around a fire, trying to get warmed up. They know most of them, have known them for years. But they haven’t seen them for the longest time, and they can’t deny that it feels odd to be in their company again.

“What about the women there, what are they like?” a young man asks, and Bjorn can’t help but smile, thinking of the morning Halfdan had told him about the woman the Emir had sent to him.

“They are not that different,” Bjorn shrugs. “They are beautiful… well-spoken…”

“Clever,” Halfdan adds, and Bjorn nods in agreement.

“Good in bed?” a man asks.

“That too,” Bjorn laughs, but he feels like he is just playing along. Like he is telling them what they want to hear. Something about it doesn’t feel right. Not anymore.

“From what I’ve heard, you two didn’t seem to care that much about the women,” an older man says, and Bjorn looks at him, not liking where this is going.

“What are you talking about?”

“You two preferred the company of each other, isn’t that right?”

“He’s just like Ragnar, isn’t he?” another man laughs, and both Bjorn and Halfdan look at him. “He didn’t mind the company of men, especially not while he was away from home.”

“He once even invited me into his bed,” another man laughs. “Of course I said no, but…”

“You are just like him, Bjorn. Ragnar didn’t care who, or what he fucked either. As long as he…,” one of the men begins, but Halfdan doesn’t want to hear the rest of it. He storms off, and Bjorn knows exactly why. He feels hurt, insulted. The men are making it out like he was a piece of meat, a quick fuck. The whore he has always been made out to be.

“Did you tell them?” Bjorn spits out, stepping up to Ubbe.

“What?”

“Did you tell them about me and him?”

“I didn’t tell them anything.”

“Then how…”

“He didn’t have to tell us,” one of the men shrugs. “Not after the way you and Lagertha were shouting at each other last night.”

“I wouldn’t tell them, Bjorn,” Ubbe says. “It isn’t my place.”

“I…”

“Go,” Ubbe whispers. Bjorn turns, and he goes after Halfdan, only to find him by the water. He has tears in his eyes, the shame written all over his face.

“You are just like your father,” Halfdan spits out. “He would fuck anything. He didn’t care who, he just…”

“My father wasn’t like that,” Bjorn says. “He loved Athelstan.”

“And the other men?” Halfdan asks, and Bjorn sighs, as he sits down. Halfdan joins him, and Bjorn takes his hand. “Are they right? Is that what it was?”

“My father…”

“Not Ragnar, Bjorn.”

“They have no idea what they are talking about. They are wrong about my father,” Bjorn says. “And they couldn’t be more wrong about me. About us.”

“Is this what it is going to be like, if we…”

“No,” Bjorn says, before Halfdan can even say another word. “I will tell them, that you are more than that. That we are…”

“What?”

“That…,” Bjorn tries again, but he can’t find the words to say. And before he knows it, he has blurted out the only words he can think of. “Marry me. Be my husband.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Halfdan spits out, and he wants to get up and storm off. But Bjorn grabs his arm, so he can’t go anywhere. “Don’t you dare mock me. I don’t care who you are, I will…”

“You think I would mock you?”

“Then why would you say such a thing?”

“Because I want you to be my…”

“What?” Halfdan laughs, but his voice is filled with anger. “You know that such a thing isn’t possible.”

“Just because no one has done it before, does not mean that it is impossible. If we could just… why not, Halfdan?” Bjorn asks. And it isn’t until he looks into Bjorn’s eyes, that Halfdan realises that he actually means what he is saying.

“You know why not.”

“You said it yourself, I am Bjorn Ironside, son of Ragnar Lothbrok. If I want to marry a man, I should be able to do so.”

“You have gone mad,” Halfdan says, and a big grin forms on Bjorn’s face. “I mean it, Bjorn. If anyone hears you say this, they will…”

“Let them. I will tell anyone who wants to hear.”

“You are mad,” Halfdan repeats, but Bjorn ignores his words. He simply pushes him down into the mud, and leans down over him.

“I am going to marry you, Halfdan.”

“I haven’t even said I would marry you.”

“But you want to, yes?” Bjorn asks, and a shy smile forms on Halfdan’s lips. “I will make this happen. I promise.”

-~-~-~-

Not another word had been said about the promise Bjorn had made that day. Their minds had been on other things, with gearing up for battle, trying to negotiate for at least some kind of peace. Halfdan had even been the hostage to go into Ivar and Harald’s camp, and Bjorn can’t deny that he had been worried that he wouldn’t be coming back. That Harald would get to him, that he would play his mind games, and manage to get him to stay and fight on his side.

But Halfdan had come back, and he had chosen to fight on Bjorn’s side. It had even led to his brother punching him in the face, and promising to kill him. Bjorn could see the pain in Halfdan’s eyes, but Halfdan had put on a brave face, and the threat hadn’t persuaded him to change his mind.

Even as they are on the battle field now, they are still standing side by side, ready to face whatever today might bring.

“Bjorn?”

“Yes?”

“If I die today… if my brother kills me…,” Halfdan begins, and Bjorn looks at him, surprised to find Halfdan’s face having turned a sickly ashen colour. “I want you to know that…”

“Don’t. You can tell me later,” Bjorn quickly says, not ready to face up to the reality that he could actually be losing Halfdan today. “You can’t die today. You swore to me you would be there with me, next time…”

“But if I die,” Halfdan says, “What you have given me these last months…”

“I know,” Bjorn quickly says, and he almost leans in to kiss him. But he remembers where he is, what is about to happen. So he simply gives a small nod, and he turns to look ahead, not able to face Halfdan anymore. The thought of losing him today, of not getting to see more of the world, with him by his side again, it makes him feel a pain in his body which he cannot put into words. It isn’t like any other pain he has ever felt before, and it almost brings him to his knees.

\--

But by the time he snaps out of it, he realises he is in the middle of battle. The flashes of people running past him, the sounds of people crying out, the last sound they will ever make, the smell of blood, of sweat… it brings him right back to himself, and it makes him fight for his life. This is what he knows, what he has known for most of his life.

Bjorn has just killed another man, and he is about to turn around, when something makes him change his mind. In the distance he sees Halfdan killing man after man, completely unaware of the fact that his brother is staring at him. It makes Bjorn feel sick to his stomach, because if Harald decides to make his move right now, he is too far away to stop him. He will have no choice but to watch as Harald kills Halfdan.

Still, he fights his way through the crowd, not even turning to look who he is leaving behind. He needs to know he has given it his all to try and save Halfdan. But Harald is already marching over to his brother, and Bjorn feels like no matter how hard he is trying to run, he can’t seem to close the distance between himself and the brothers.

Halfdan turns around, ready to fight whoever he will have to face next. But when he finds his brother standing in front of him, a determined look on his face, he can feel the fight leaving his body.

“I am sorry, brother,” Harald says, but all Halfdan can do is nod. The moment he chose to leave Harald’s side, when he chose to go with Bjorn instead, he knew that this was going to happen. It was unavoidable. He had been preparing himself for this day, but now that it is here, it hurts more than he would ever admit. Not because his own brother has chosen to kill him, but because it is happening right now. Before he has gotten the chance to have more time with Bjorn.

As he faces the reality that this is the moment he is going to die, images start flashing before his eyes From being a little boy, to being a teenager and Harald teaching him how to fight, to the moment where Bjorn had asked him to be his husband. Just seeing the big happy grin on Bjorn’s face, it makes Halfdan feel a kind of calm.

But just as he watches Harald raising his arm, ready to strike, his brother’s eyes widen. A trickle of blood starts pouring from his mouth, and it takes a moment for Halfdan to realise what is happening, but when Harald falls down to his knees, he kneels down beside him, and he takes him into his arms.

“Harald!”

Harald looks like he is trying to speak, but he can’t, and all Halfdan wants to do is help him and make him better. But he knows he can’t, because when he looks over his brother’s shoulder, he sees the axe sticking from his back. It is dug deep in, and he has seen enough of these injuries to know what this means.

He looks up, only to find Bjorn standing in the middle of the ongoing battle, a look of nothing but pure shock on his face. For a moment it feels like the world has stopped, like they have all frozen in time, but when Halfdan feels his brother getting heavier in his arms, he looks down at him, realising he is gone.

Bjorn runs over to the brothers, relieved that he has managed to save Halfdan’s life. But he has just killed Harald, and he knows what this means, not only for the battle, but for Halfdan. He has just lost his brother, and he can only imagine the pain he must be feeling right now, because no matter what they might have gone through, no matter how distanced they had become, Bjorn knows how much Halfdan still cares for his brother.

“You killed him,” Halfdan says, and the words cut through Bjorn like a knife. “You…”

“I am sorry.”

“You saved my life,” Halfdan adds, looking up from the man in his arms, up into Bjorn’s eyes.

“We have to go,” Bjorn says, not knowing what else to say. But he can tell that they are losing, that if they stay here any longer, that surely they will die. That it won’t matter whether he saved Halfdan a moment ago or not.

-~-~-~-

After their defeat on the battlefield, Bjorn and his family had left Kattegat, making sure to be gone before Ivar would get there. They had travelled to the only place where they knew they would be safe for now, but being defeated and being on the run, it had gotten to Bjorn. He had started to spend his days and nights by himself, not speaking to anyone. Not even Halfdan.

“You can’t avoid him forever,” Lagertha says, when she joins her son. “Do you think he blames you for his brother’s death?”

“He should. I did kill Harald.”

“Because he was going to kill him, Bjorn. You had no choice. If you hadn’t killed him, he would have…”

“I know that,” Bjorn snaps, and his mother can hear the fear in his voice.

“You would have lost him.”

“Yes.”

“But you will lose him too, if you go on like this,” Lagertha says, and she looks out at Halfdan, who is sitting by the fire with Ubbe, Torvi and the children. “I don’t think he’s angry with you. I think he is upset, because he has lost his brother. He could do with having a friend.”

“A friend?” Bjorn asks. “Is that what you think I am to him? A friend?”

“You know what I mean,” Lagertha tries, but she can see that she has said the wrong thing. That she has offended him.

“I care for him, mother. More than I have ever cared for any woman,” Bjorn says. “He is more than just ‘a friend’,” he spits out. “He is going to be my husband.”

“Your husband?”

“Yes,” Bjorn says, a determined look on his face, as he looks out at Halfdan. “I know you probably think I have lost my mind, but…”

“No,” Lagertha sighs, and she grabs her son’s hand. “I don’t think you have lost your mind, but you know that this cannot…”

“It can,” Bjorn cuts her off. “I will make it happen. I will find a way.”

“You remind me so much of Ragnar,” Lagertha says, and her son looks at her, only to find tears in her eyes. “If this is what you truly want, then…,” she sighs again. “You will have my full support.”

\--

“Can we talk?” Bjorn asks, as he catches up with Torvi, who he is just returning from bringing food and water to Margrethe.

“Sure,” Torvi says, but she looks a little hesitant. Still, they sit down in the grass, away from where the others can hear them.

“You and Ubbe…”

“You have no right to…,” Torvi begins, but when she sees the smile forming on her ex-husband’s lips, she keeps quiet.

“All I wanted to say was that I am happy for you, both of you. You seem happy together.”

“We are,” Torvi says, an uncomfortable look on her face. “Ubbe is a good man.”

“He is.”

“So is Halfdan,” Torvi then says, and she studies Bjorn’s face, to see if she can continue. “Do you love him?”

“I do,” Bjorn admits, before taking his ex-wife’s hand in his. “But I am not going to break my promise, Torvi. I will always be there for you and the children, you are always going to be my family.”

“I know. You are a good man too.”

“Am I?”

“You are, Bjorn,” Torvi sighs, as she stares down at their hands. “You haven’t been yourself ever since we left Kattegat. What happened to you?”

“You were there, you saw what happened.”

“We will find a way to defeat Ivar,” Torvi says. “You know we will. But there is more to this. Is this about Halfdan? Because of what happened to Harald? Imagine if it had been you, if he had killed Ivar to protect you. Do you wish he would be feeling guilty for it?”

“No.”

“You did what you had to do, Bjorn. You saved his life. Because you love him.”

“What if…”

“Tell me,” Torvi says, and Bjorn can’t help but smile at the determination, the strength in her voice. It is exactly that determination, that strength, that made him fall in love with her. That makes him hope he will never lose her.

“What if I want to marry him?”

“Marry him?” Torvi asks, before letting out a long sigh. “Will we get to be there? The children, me?”

“You don’t think it’s impossible?”

“I am sure you will find a way,” Torvi says, a small, hesitant smile on her face. “What did Lagertha say?”

“That I remind her of my father.”

“I have to agree with her on that.” Torvi smiles, before resting her head on his shoulder. “He was a good man too.”

-~-~-~-

Halfdan has been watching from a distance, as Rollo and Bjorn have been talking to each other. Rollo had come over to where they are hiding, and he had discussed something with Lagertha, before dragging Bjorn off to talk to him in private. Halfdan doesn’t trust him, not after the way he had betrayed them all, after the way he had betrayed Ragnar. Now that he is here, it makes Halfdan feel like they are about to be betrayed all over again. So he is keeping an eye on Rollo and Bjorn, trying to make out what they are talking about, but he is too far away to hear them, and it makes him nervous.

But when Bjorn gets up, an angry look on his face, he knows that it wasn’t a friendly family conversation. Bjorn marches away from his uncle, so Halfdan goes after him, even though they haven’t truly spoken since arriving at this place. But he can’t leave him on his own, not like this.

“What did he have to say?”

“He is offering us safe passage,” Bjorn explains, the rage almost radiating from his body.

“Why?”

“Because I’m his son, and he wants me to live,” Bjorn spits out.

“His son?” Halfdan asks, not understanding what Bjorn is trying to say. “Ragnar is your father, is he not?”

“He is.”

“Then why…?” Halfdan begins, but then he nods. “There is a chance he could be your father?”

“Ragnar is my father. Rollo has no right to…” Bjorn spits out, but then he stops himself. “I am Ragnar’s son.”

“And Rollo?”

“Is nothing to me. He is a traitor. He betrayed my father, and now he has betrayed us. He is dead to me!”

“Come here,” Halfdan says, and he takes Bjorn in his arms, hoping to calm his rage. At first Bjorn tries to free himself from Halfdan’s grip, but when he feels the warmth of his body, the comfort of being held by him, after such a long time, he feels something breaking inside of him.

“I have missed you, Halfdan,” he whispers, as he brings his mouth up to Halfdan’s ear.

“I haven’t gone anywhere.”

“Can you forgive me, for what I…”

“For saving my life?” Halfdan asks, Bjorn’s lips brushing past the skin of his ear. “There is nothing to forgive, Bjorn. Now go and tell your family about Rollo’s offer.”

“Will you come with me?”

“Of course.”


	4. Chapter 4

After they had rejected Rollo’s offer, and they had sent him away, they had packed up and left. They knew that the rejection would send him straight back to Ivar, that it would make him betray them all over again. So they had had no choice but to leave, and go to the one place where maybe, just maybe, they could find safety.

They had gone to Wessex, hoping to find safety and protection, but they had ended up being locked up for days. It had only taken them moments to start fighting with each other, as they had all started blaming each other for ending up there.

But in the end they had been freed, and brought to see king Alfred. They asked him for safety, and Alfred was willing to offer it to them, if they were willing to fight for them. But they had not forgotten about the deal that was made between King Ecbert and Ragnar. So they had asked him for the land which they had been promised, but King Ecbert had had no right to promise Ragnar the land, and Bjorn and his family were left with nothing. But Alfred had offered them a new deal. He would give them the land, once they had proven themselves to him. They had had no choice but to accept, but it had left them all feeling disappointed and defeated.

Halfdan is already in bed, but Bjorn is still pacing up and down the room, an angry look on his face. Only this afternoon, Ubbe had told them that Alfred had suggested they would be baptised, would become Christians. It would make things easier, not only for him, but it would make the people in Wessex be more willing to accept them. Ubbe and Torvi are thinking about his offer, and Halfdan understands why, but a rage had kicked off within Bjorn, and ever since this afternoon, he has looked like he is ready to explode.

“If they are to be baptised…”

“We are not Christians!” Bjorn spits out, as he turns to face Halfdan. “They are not Christians!”

“It isn’t going to change who they are. They are only thinking about it because…”

“What about my children, huh? What will happen to them? Will they be raised to believe in this… this God?”

“Ragnar was baptised,” Halfdan tries, but it only makes Bjorn kick against the bed. Halfdan sits up, but he isn’t scared of Bjorn, he is just worried for him. He hasn’t been himself since they have left Kattegat, and all he wants to do is drag him away from here, set him on a boat, and leave to go anywhere. As long as it is far away from here. Because they had been happy, before they came back, before reality had to set in again.

“Ragnar still believed in the Gods, in Valhalla.”

“You think Ubbe and Torvi don’t?”

“I’m not sure they do,” Bjorn says. “But I will not let them do this, and drag my children into this. My children will be raised to…”

“They are only doing this to achieve their goal,” Halfdan says, not giving Bjorn the chance to rage on. “To get Alfred to get things done, without people stopping him because they are not Christians.”

“Would you do the same?”

“Maybe,” Halfdan admits, but the second the word has left his mouth, a tense silence fills the room. “But you know I would never stop believing in our Gods, Bjorn.”

“It would be wrong.”

“Sometimes you have to do things, even if you don’t believe in them, just to get things done.”

“If they choose to go through with this, the Gods will be seeing it too,” Bjorn says, for just a second raising his eyes up to the ceiling. “They will be angry.”

Halfdan just shrugs, not willing to argue with Bjorn on this, because what is the point? It is late, he is tired, and they are clearly not going to agree with each other. But Bjorn rages on, so he simply closes his eyes, and lets him go on for the longest time, until finally, Bjorn gets into bed with him.

“Are you done?”

“No, what if…”

Halfdan doesn’t give him a chance to finish, because he rolls on top of him, and he kisses him with all his might, just to get him to finally keep quiet.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“I miss you, Bjorn,” Halfdan admits, as he looks into his eyes. “You have changed.”

“I have to…”

“I know,” Halfdan quickly says, as he carefully traces Bjorn’s brow with the tip of his finger. “But I feel like I am losing you.”

“You’re not,” Bjorn says, feeling an empty coldness inside of him, when he sees the hurt look in Halfdan’s eyes. “When all this is over…,” he begins, but it feels like an empty promise, and he is grateful when Halfdan kisses him, stopping him from saying anything else. Because he wouldn’t know what to say, what to promise him. Not anymore.

-~-~-~-

Halfdan had gotten hopeful that things were going to get better, because Bjorn had stopped raging about Ubbe and Torvi, and he had even been there when they had been baptised. Afterwards he had even had a drink with them. It felt like the family was finally coming together, like they would get through this together, and come out stronger.

But when Alfred had announced that there was an army coming into Wessex, and he had asked Bjorn and his family to fight for him, it had set them all on edge. They had only had a matter of days before the army would arrive, and while it should have brought them closer together, it had sent them into different directions, and Halfdan had felt Bjorn pulling away from him. And when, after the battle, Lagertha had gone missing, Halfdan knew he had lost Bjorn.

Bjorn had captured Gunnhild, hoping to get information about the army, about Ivar. Halfdan had watched him take her into one of the rooms, and for a moment, he had been about to follow them. Instead, he had waited outside, ready to ask Bjorn what she knew, as soon as he would come out. But when he had seen the big grin on Bjorn’s face, when he had come out of her room, he had left. He didn’t need to ask, because he already knew.

Halfdan hadn’t mentioned Gunnhild, or what he had seen though. Because with Lagertha missing, he knew it wasn’t the time. And now that Alfred has just brought them to the land which they had been promised, which he had finally signed over to them after the battle, he feels like maybe things will settle down. Maybe, just maybe, they can finally work on things and get back to how they used to be.

But a sharp sting goes through his body, when he watches Bjorn going over to Gunnhild instead of him, when he watches them talking to each other. He wants to go over to them, he feels like he has a right to, but they look like they are having a serious conversation, so something is keeping him back. Perhaps it’s the fear of overhearing something he doesn’t want to hear.

“Are you alright?” Torvi asks, and Halfdan turns, only to see the sorry, almost pitying look on her face. “He has been spending a lot of time with her.”

“Do you think he…”

“I think he is trying to get her to tell him everything she knows. Ivar asked her husband to look after York, so now that he’s dead…”

“Do you think that’s it?” Halfdan asks, but as soon as the words have left his mouth, he feels guilty. Because how can he discuss this with Torvi, when she was married to Bjorn, until he had left her for him? He is about to open his mouth to apologise, but Torvi sighs.

“Something changed, after we left Kattegat. I think losing that battle… he lost a part of himself that day, Halfdan. I am not sure what he needs to do to find himself again, but I saw him, after the two of you came back, and I saw how happy he was.”

“What can I do to help him?”

“I don’t know. But I hope he realises that he is pushing away everyone who loves him, before it’s too late.”

\--

Alfred has just led all of them to a church, but as Halfdan is about to enter, he realises that Bjorn and Gunnhild are staying behind.

“Are you not coming in?”

“I am not a Christian,” Bjorn says, a dirty look on his face. “And neither are you.”

“No, I am not. But Alfred gave us this land, and he…”

“We fought for this land, he didn’t give us anything!”

“Bjorn, I…”

“Go in, before you miss it,” Bjorn spits out, before turning around, Gunnhild following him. Halfdan wants to follow Bjorn, apologise, talk about it, but with Gunnhild there, the time just doesn’t feel right. So he goes into the church, and he sits through the service, but he doesn’t hear a word of it, because he can’t stop thinking about Bjorn, about what he can say to make it better.

But the minute he steps out of the church, and he finds Bjorn and Gunnhild standing there, both flushed, Bjorn’s clothes somehow not looking right, a wave of nausea washes over him. And when Bjorn looks him in the eyes, he knows exactly what has happened.

\--

“Why?” he asks, when Bjorn is about to get into bed that night. “Why did you fuck her?”

“I…”

“Why am I even still here, Bjorn?”

“You know why.”

“Do I?” Halfdan asks, but a long silence follows, and it makes him feel sick to his stomach. “Will you marry her?”

“No…”

“Will you?”

“It meant nothing,” Bjorn tries, but he can see the anger in Halfdan’s eyes, so he goes up to him, and he tries to grab his arm. “You know I don’t care for her. I want you, Halfdan.”

“You have been treating me like some kind of…”

“Don’t you dare say it,” Bjorn quickly says, already knowing where this is going. He had been so wrapped up in what had been going on all around him, that he hadn’t even realised what had been happening right in front of him. But seeing just how angry Halfdan is, how hurt, it makes him angry with himself, it makes him want to go back and change things. But he knows he can’t, but he also isn’t sure how he can fix it.

“If you want to be with her, then just go,” Halfdan spits out, and he is about to turn. But Bjorn stops him, and he kisses him. It’s an angry, rough kiss, and they are both fighting to hurt the other with it. But they can’t help but love each other, and there is so much passion in the kiss, that the kiss lights a fire in both men.

Before they know it, they are on the bed, ripping the clothes from each other’s bodies. Halfdan is letting all of his anger out, and when he bites into Bjorn’s shoulder, making him cry out in pain, it makes him feel such a satisfaction, that it almost makes him want to stop. But Bjorn brings his hand up to the side of his neck, and in that one gentle, and careful touch, Halfdan can feel that there is still love between them. It reassures him, and when he kisses Bjorn, he finds a warmth he had found there the first time they had kissed.

He looks into Bjorn’s eyes, as he pushes into him, trying to find the man he had fucked under the moonlight all those months ago. But there is an anger in his eyes, and there is something distant about him. Even as Halfdan leans down to kiss him, as he tastes the warmth, the love, there is a disconnect.

Bjorn can feel Halfdan’s anger, he can feel it in the way he is pushing into him. He can feel it in the way he is gripping onto skin, the nails digging deep in. He can tell, by the fire, the rage in his eyes.

Halfdan looks down at Bjorn, as he spills inside of him. Even in his anger, he wants to tell him ‘I love you’, but something stops him. Instead, he pulls out, and he lies down next to him. He watches him, and for just a moment, he finds him the most vulnerable he has seen him in months. But when he reaches out to touch him, there is a distance between them. The moment has passed, and it feels like what has just happened between them, it wasn’t fixing anything, it wasn’t a new beginning. What just happened was closure.

-~-~-~-

“Where are you going?” Ubbe asks, a worried look on his face.

“York. After that, we are planning to take back Kattegat,” Bjorn explains, but Ubbe just shakes his head. “First we…”

“We?”

“Gunnhuld and me.”

“What about Halfdan?” Torvi asks. “Isn’t he coming with you?”

“He can stay here with you, or he can go and…”

“You were supposed to marry him!” Torvi spits out, and Bjorn can feel the words cutting him like a knife. “What happened to the promise you made to him, huh?”

“Things have changed.”

“If you leave him behind, you will lose him,” Ubbe tries, but Bjorn has already made up his mind. He knows he can’t go on hurting Halfdan any longer, so it’s best they go their separate ways now, before they lose whatever friendship they have left.

“You will look after him, won’t you?”

“I thought you were better than this,” Torvi says, before looking at Gunnhild, who is talking to someone in the distance. “You are making a mistake, Bjorn. Halfdan, he…”

“He cares for you,” Ubbe says, and Bjorn has to look away, to keep him from seeing the pain in his eyes. “Don’t leave him behind. Not like this.”

“I have to.”

\--

“He will come back,” Ubbe says, as he sits down beside Halfdan. Halfdan is staring out into the distance, a part of him still wishing Bjorn is coming back to tell him he has made a mistake. That he is already regretting his decision, that he shouldn’t have left. But it has been hours since he has left, and there is no one to be seen on the road.

“I’m sure they will.”

“I know he cares for you.”

“I don’t think he does. Not anymore,” Halfdan sighs, his eyes still on the road. “If he comes back, he will be married to her. Perhaps they will even have a child.”

“He is making a mistake,” Ubbe reassures him, and Ubbe’s kindness means a lot to Halfdan, even if he doesn’t believe his words. “Come on, let’s eat.”

-~-~-~-

It has been such a long time, and so much has happened, that when Halfdan finally lays eyes on Bjorn again, for a moment it feels like he is watching a stranger. This strong, handsome stranger, who reminds him so much of the man he used to know, but who looks so much older than he had when they had travelled together, who seems tired, broken.

It isn’t until Lagertha hands Bjorn the sword, until Halfdan hears the crowd gathered around them all shouting out Bjorn’s name, that it fully hits him that this is indeed Bjorn. That the man he loves, used to love, is still alive. That after trying so hard to accept that he had lost him, that he would never see him again, here he is, standing right in front of him. If he wanted to, he could simply go over to him, reach out and touch him. Yet something holds him back, and he doesn’t even go over to greet him.

He turns around, and he walks off, unable to watch him any longer. So he finds himself a quiet place, and he sits down, trying to take in what has just happened. After Bjorn and Gunnhild had left, he had struggled to find his place, he had struggled to feel like he belonged, no matter how many times Torvi and Ubbe reassured him that he was family. That he was one of them.

It had nearly broken him, not just the fact that he had lost Bjorn, but the feeling of losing the things they were meant to still do together, the things they were yet to see together. He had been ready to leave everything, and everyone behind, to see wherever life would take him, but Ubbe had caught him leaving, and he had tried to convince him to stay. But no words had gotten through to Halfdan, and it hadn’t been until Ubbe had pulled a knife on him, and he had seen the pain, the fear in his eyes, that he had realised just how much the family had come to care for him. How much him leaving would hurt them. So he had decided to stay, and he had stayed with them, even when they had come back to Kattegat.

But being back here, seeing Bjorn again, it hurts more than he thought it would. He thought that after it nearly breaking him, after fighting to find himself back, after finding his new place within the family, he would be able to face Bjorn, show him that his leaving, it meant nothing. But no matter how many times he has tried telling himself that he has stopped loving Bjorn, that it was nothing more than a silly thing between friends, he knows he can’t lie to himself. Not anymore.

“I knew I would find you here.”

“Go away, Bjorn,” Halfdan spits out, but his heart skips a beat at the thought of the other man having come out here, just for him. He tries to ignore the feeling, but when Bjorn sits down with him, he can’t help but smile, so he quickly looks up at the moon, hoping Bjorn won’t notice.

“I am glad you are here.”

“Why?”

“I was afraid you would have left, or…”

“Don’t pretend you care,” Halfdan says, as he looks down at Bjorn. He sees the guilt in his eyes, and he sighs. “You married Gunnhild?”

“Yes.”

“Do you love her?”

“She is a good woman,” Bjorn says, “She is…”

“That is not what I asked.”

“I know,” Bjorn sighs, as Halfdan looks back up at the moon. He can feel Bjorn’s hand touching his, but he ignores it, not sure if it happened by accident or not. But when it happens again, he looks down, and he finds Bjorn’s shaky, scarred hand hesitantly grabbing his. “I miss you, Halfdan, I…”

“You should be with your wife.”

“If I had stayed, would…”

“You left, Bjorn!” Halfdan spits out, Bjorn flinching at the rage in his voice. “You left me, you left all of us, long before you walked out on us!”

“I never…”

“You left your family behind, you…”

“I did this, for my family!” Bjorn defends himself, but deep inside he knows what Halfdan is saying.

The moment they had fled from Kattegat, he had changed, a part of him had been left behind. And although he had tried telling himself that he had done everything he could to save his and Halfdan’s relationship, deep inside he knows that he had been pushing him away for a long time. That Halfdan had had to put up with him, with his anger, with a different version of him, a bitter, cold, empty version of him, for a long time. That it hadn’t been fair on him. So Bjorn had chosen to set him free, and he had told himself that he had done it for Halfdan, but he had come to realise that he had been running away. He had gotten stuck in the new version of himself, in his bitterness, in his anger, and he hadn’t been ready to change, to work on himself and be the man Halfdan deserves. Instead, he had chosen to stay angry, to stay bitter, to choose the easy path, to marry Gunnhild, to be the man people expected him to be. But as he had chosen to fight, as he had told himself that this was what his father would have done, that he was finally becoming the man his father would have wanted him to be, he had started to have doubts.

Would Ragnar have been proud of him? Or would he have been disappointed? Would he have called him weak for running away? For not stepping up, for being too scared to stay and own up to the mistakes he has made, the wrong he has done and the hurt he has caused?

Bjorn had started doubting his decisions, but it had been too late, and he didn’t think it even mattered anymore. He didn’t think he would ever see Halfdan again. By now, more than likely, he would have left to see more of the world. Perhaps he had even found someone new, someone better. Someone who treats him the way he deserves. The thought had left Bjorn feeling empty, like a part of him was missing, yet it had left him feeling hopeful, because maybe, just maybe, one of them could still be happy.  
Yet here they are, Halfdan hasn’t left, Bjorn hasn’t died. Still, things have changed, perhaps too much time has passed since they have last seen each other. Since things were as they were meant to be between them.

But when Halfdan looks into Bjorn’s eyes, he still finds something he has always found there. And he can’t deny that all he wants to do is wrap his arms around him and hold him, no matter how angry he is with him.

“What I did…,” Bjorn begins, but when he sees the hurt look in Halfdan’s eyes, he feels like he has no right to try and explain himself, so he just sighs.

“You made a promise, Bjorn. Do you even remember?”

“Of course I do. But things changed, we…”

“We?” Halfdan asks.

“We should have never come back to Kattegat,” Bjorn sighs. “If we had…”

“You made your choice, Bjorn,” Halfdan interrupts him. “You chose to leave your family behind, you chose to marry Gunnhild. That had nothing to do with us coming back to Kattegat. You could have stayed, you could have…”

“I know.”

“So go back to your wife,” Halfdan says, and without giving Bjorn a chance to say another word, he gets up, and walks off. A part of him wants to turn back around and hear what else Bjorn has to say, wants to see if he wants to give their relationship another chance. If he still wishes to marry him. But he can’t let himself go back there.


	5. Chapter 5

“You can’t avoid him forever,” Torvi says, as she drags Halfdan outside by his hand. “You knew you were going to have to see him, so…”

“He came to see me.”

“When?”

“When we first came back here,” Halfdan admits, but Torvi just sighs. “It was not like that. He is married to Gunnhild now.”

“He doesn’t love her.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know him, Halfdan. He married her because he was hurting, because he felt like it was the thing to do, perhaps he thought it would make things easier,” Torvi explains. “But I see them together, and it’s like he is…,” she sighs again. “He isn’t himself anymore.”

“People change.”

“He was happy when he was with you, now he…”

“He loves Gunnhild,” Halfdan tries, and Torvi raises an eyebrow as she faces him. But Halfdan quickly looks away, avoiding her eyes, and Torvi can’t help but smile when she sees that he doesn’t believe a word he is saying.

-~-~-~-

Halfdan is still actively trying to avoid Bjorn, and Gunnhild for that matter, and so far he has succeeded. But when he is just about to go inside one afternoon, relieved to have avoided both of them for yet another day, he hears footsteps rushing over to him.

“Halfdan?”

“Gunnhild.”

“I tried to come and talk to you the other day, but you…”

“I didn’t see you,” Halfdan quickly says, but it’s too quickly, and a small smile forms on Bjorn’s wife’s face.

“I see. So you have been trying to avoid me?”

“No!”

“I hope you are not upset with me?”

“Why would I be upset?” Halfdan asks, the knowing smile on Gunnhild’s face growing. “He told you?”

“He didn’t have to,” Gunnhild says, and Halfdan can’t deny that it makes his heart skip a beat. “He has missed you.”

“Why are you here, Gunnhild?”

“Why are you?”

“I am here with my family,” Halfdan explains. “I am not here for Bjorn. He is all yours.”

“Except he isn’t,” Gunnhild says, but Halfdan doesn’t understand. “He has hardly said a word to me since you have gotten back.”

“That has nothing to do with me,” Halfdan tries, but he can see an anger growing in Bjorn’s wife. “I have not spoken to Bjorn, I have not even…”

“You should.”

“What?”

“Speak to him.”

“Why are you here?” Halfdan repeats. “If you and Bjorn are…”

“Because you are my problem, Halfdan!” Gunnhild spits out.

“What do you want me to say to him?”

“He needs you.”

“He does not need me. You are his wife, he…”

“Does not care for me, not as he should. Perhaps if you had died, then…,” Gunnhild says, as she shrugs her shoulders. “Perhaps then he would have been able to move on. But now that you are here, still alive…”

“Then why not kill me?”

“You think I want you dead?”

“If I am standing in your way, then why not?” Halfdan asks.

“Because my husband loves you,” Gunnhild explains. “And I have tried to make him happy, but I can’t. Just as he can’t make me happy. We were not meant to be married, Halfdan. But…”

“What?”

“Perhaps the two of you are,” Gunnhild says, before turning around and walking off. Halfdan is left standing in the doorway, more confused than ever, but when he feels a hand on his shoulder, he jumps up. He finds Ubbe standing behind him, a sympathetic look on his face.

“I did not mean to listen, but…”

“What do you think I should do?”

“Talk to my brother, Halfdan,” Ubbe says, as he squeezes his shoulder. “You heard what she said.”

-~-~-~-

“Do you remember…”

“Of course I do,” Bjorn says, before Halfdan can even finish the rest of his question. He sits down with Bjorn, and looks out at the full moon, which is shining down on the water. It reminds him of the night before they had travelled back to Kattegat. For a moment, he closes his eyes, and he wishes he was back there. They would have had another chance, a do-over. Perhaps this time they would get it right.

But when he opens his eyes, he hasn’t gone back in time, and they are not getting a chance to do things over.

“Gunnhild knows.”

“Yes,” Bjorn says, his eyes still focussed on the moon.

“She is afraid she is losing you,” Halfdan tries, hoping to get some kind of response, a denial. But Bjorn ignores him. “Do you want me to leave? I will go, I…”

“Do you hate me, Halfdan?”

“No!”

“Do you think I am like them?”

“Like who?”

“The others? Who promised you… then left you, to marry a woman.”

“No,” Halfdan reassures him, as he instinctively grabs his hand. “I know you are not like them, Bjorn. I know why you married Gunnhild, so…”

“I regret it,” Bjorn says, but Halfdan just sighs. “I love you, Halfdan, not Gunnhild.”

“She is your wife.”

“You should have been my husband,” Bjorn says, and the words cut through Halfdan like a knife. “I miss you.”

“What about Gunnhild?”

“She deserves to be with someone who loves her,” Bjorn says, finally looking at Halfdan, only to be met with a look full of hesitation, doubt. “You don’t trust me anymore.”

“Do you blame me?”

“No.”

“What can I do to make you believe me?”

“I am not sure, Bjorn. Perhaps we have had our chance, and now it is too late. Perhaps you should be with Gunnhild, and…”

“I don’t want to be with Gunnhild!” Bjorn spits out. “I want to be with you, Halfdan!”

“What we had, it was nothing more than…”

“What?” Bjorn asks, not even trying to hide the hurt, the anger in his voice. He understands why Halfdan has become distant, cold, but it hurts, and he would do anything to have his best friend back. To have his warmth, his love again.

“You needed something, and I could give it to you, it was not…”

“Love?”

“No.”

“I love you,” Bjorn says, his voice shaking. “and I know you love me. Loved me.”

Halfdan tries to stay strong, to keep telling himself that it would be better for both of them if Bjorn stays with Gunnhild. It would be easier if they stay apart, at least then they won’t get hurt again. But he can see the pain written all over Bjorn’s face, his body. It means the world to him to see this side of him again, to see behind the bitterness, the cold. But he is terrified to let him back in again, terrified to get hurt again.

“Give me another chance.”

“And Gunnhild?”

“I will tell her.”

“Will you go on fucking her?” Halfdan asks, unable to hide the hurt in his voice, but his jealousy brings a small smile to Bjorn’s face. “What?”

“I have not fucked Gunnhild since…”

“What?”

“Since I saw you again, Halfdan,” Bjorn explains. “I told you, I do not want to be with her.”

“Good,” Halfdan says, a mischievous smile forming on his lips.

“Does this mean…”

“Do you want it to?” Halfdan asks. Bjorn puts his hand on his knee, and gives it a squeeze, and all he wants to do is keep it there, if only to feel Halfdan again, just to make sure he is real. To make sure is isn’t imagining him being here back with him. But he doesn’t want to cross a line and upset him, so he takes his hand back, a little uncomfortable, and he stares back up at the moon.

-~-~-~-

“So… Gunnhild moved out yesterday,” Ubbe says, as he joins Halfdan at the table. “Does this mean that you and Bjorn…”

“No,” Halfdan quickly says, but when Hvitserk joins them, raising an eyebrow, he sighs. “I am not sure.”

“Why not?”

“Was Bjorn really going to marry you?” Hvitserk asks, but Halfdan just looks away. “Then how did he end up with Gunnhild?”

“Because he ran away,” Ubbe explains. “I used to look up to him, but…”

“You still do,” Halfdan states, and Ubbe sighs, before nodding.

“But what he did, after we had to leave Kattegat… that was not Bjorn, Halfdan.”

“I know.”

“Now that his wife has moved…,” Hvitserk begins, but then he hesitates, before continuing, “Why are you still here?”

“Because he is scared I have already changed my mind,” Bjorn explains, as he steps into the room.

“Because you’re a coward, who…,” Ubbe begins, but Halfdan stops him.

“Thank you, but he knows what he has done.”

“I do,” Bjorn says. “But you are right, Ubbe. And I know I will have to work hard to earn back the trust I lost.”

“And Halfdan?” Ubbe asks.

“That is why I am here,” Bjorn explains, a small smile forming on his lips, before facing Halfdan. “I want to ask you to come live with me.”

“Why?” Halfdan blurts out, his face turning a dark shade of red when he realises what he has just said. “I mean… are you sure?”

“Yes,” Bjorn laughs.

“If you say no, you are no longer a part of the family,” Ubbe says, and Halfdan can’t help but smile. “Go on.”

“I suppose that does not leave me with much of a choice then, does it?”

\--

Halfdan has the shyest smile on his face as he is watching Bjorn getting out of his clothes, and getting into bed that night. It has been such a long time, that it almost feels like he is seeing Bjorn like this for the first time. But he still remembers the first time he had touched him, kissed him. The first time Bjorn had told him ‘I love you’. It seems like a lifetime ago now, yet when he closes his eyes, he is still there.

But he doesn’t close his eyes right now, instead, he keeps them focussed on the man in bed with him.

“I am nervous.”

“Me too.”

-~-~-~-

From the moment Ivar had fled, they had all known that the day would come when they would have to face him again. The brothers would have to stand up and fight their brother again, and they had been preparing for it ever since. But now that word is spreading that Ivar has gathered an army, that he has been seen again, that it will only take a matter of weeks before he reaches Kattegat, fear is spreading, and a tension can be felt everywhere.

Halfdan is trying his best to ignore the tension, but also to hide his own fear. He still remembers how Bjorn had changed after battle, after he had taken Harald’s life. Who knows what will happen if he takes Ivar’s life, or if he loses one of his brothers. And Halfdan won’t even allow himself to think about the possibility of Bjorn dying. He simply can’t.

But just as he is about to go for a walk, to try and walk off some of the tension, Lagertha comes up to him.

“Just the man I was looking for.”

“What’s wrong?” Halfdan asks, sure that Ivar must have reached Kattegat, that something must have happened to Bjorn. But just as he is about to reach for one of his weapons, Lagertha flashes a smile.

“Nothing is wrong. I have a surprise for you.”

“For me?”

“Yes, Halfdan, for you. Well, my son has a surprise for you, but…”

“Where is he?” Halfdan asks, the smile on Lagertha’s face growing bigger.

“Why don’t you come with me, instead of asking me all these questions?” Lagertha suggests, and Halfdan is about to open his mouth to ask her another question, but he decides against it, and instead follows her, but he isn’t sure where they are going, or why. It makes him anxious, and for a moment he even wonders if he is walking into a trap. But when he finds his family waiting for him in the woods, he realises it isn’t a trap.

“What are you…,” he begins, but Bjorn comes up to him, and kisses him before he can even finish his question.

“I made a promise,” Bjorn explains.

“I know, but…,” Halfdan begins, but as he looks around, at Bjorn’s family, his family, it hits him why he is here. What is happening.

“I want you to be my husband, Halfdan,” Bjorn whispers. “I don’t know what is going to happen, if we are going to survive, but… I cannot die, knowing that I have…”

“I love you,” Halfdan interrupts him, before kissing him, ignoring the fact that everyone is watching them. “But you know that if we do this, there is no going back. You will never get rid of me if…”

“Is that a promise?” Bjorn asks, and Halfdan can’t help but smile. He still remembers the moment Bjorn had asked him to marry him. Only moments before, their friends’ comments had made him feel horrible, he had felt like nothing more than a piece of meat, he had felt empty and dirty. And even when Bjorn had asked him to become his husband, he had felt like he was being mocked. For a moment, he had felt so hurt, so betrayed, that he had been ready to hurt Bjorn.

But Bjorn hadn’t been mocking him, he had meant his words, and although things had changed between them, he had never forgotten about that moment. He had never forgotten about the promise he had made that day.

\--

“Do you think they will mind?” Halfdan asks, as Bjorn leads him outside. Their family is still celebrating, but the two men are sneaking out, to finally get a moment on their own.

“I doubt they will notice we have left.”

“I ehm…,” Halfdan begins, but when Bjorn takes his hand, he looks down, and he can’t help but smile.

“You are not angry with me then?”

“No! Why would I be angry with you?”

“For setting this up today.”

“I love you, Bjorn,” Halfdan sighs. “Today… with your family there…”

“Our family.”

“Our family,” Halfdan says, a small smile on his face.

“I am so sorry your brother wasn’t there, he…”

“Stop it! You did what you had to do, Bjorn. If you hadn’t killed him, he would have killed me. What do you want me to say so you will stop feeling guilty? Do you want me to say I forgive you, is that it?” Halfdan asks. “Because I forgive you, even though there is nothing to forgive, Bjorn. I forgive you.”

Halfdan can see the tears forming in his husband’s eyes, so he frees his hand from his grip, and places his hands on the sides of his neck, and makes him face him.

“You are a good man, Bjorn Ironside, and I love you.”

Bjorn stares into Halfdan’s eyes, and only now does he realise how much he has changed over time. He has grown more handsome, he has grown stronger. Bjorn wants to tell him everything he sees in him, everything he feels when he looks at him, but he swallows back the words, and he is hoping with all his might that they will have more time together. That one day he can tell him all these things.

“I love you too.”

“You are worrying.”

“When all this is over, we are leaving this place,” Bjorn says. “We are going to travel the world, go places no one here has ever been before, we…”

“You are scared that is never going to happen,” Halfdan realises, and Bjorn nods, as Halfdan finally lets go of him.

“I cannot lose you, Halfdan. Not again.”

“You are not going to lose me, or your family. You made a promise, and you kept it. Now it is my turn to keep my promise,” Halfdan says, before giving his husband a kiss. “I am not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!! Xx
> 
> Tumblr : https://samunderthelights.tumblr.com/


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